


Colors

by iseeangels



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:05:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7320058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iseeangels/pseuds/iseeangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day he notices Dean Winchester's eyes are green is the day he loses his first feather.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Colors

Castiel was an angel. An angel of the Lord, as he would tell you upon introduction. Far superior over the human species.

Angels and humans were as different as they could possibly be. Where humans were weak, angels were strong. Where humans failed, angels succeeded. How could they possibly be his Father's favorite?

There was, however, one distinction He favored His creation with. The ability to see life in color.

This was one of many differences between them. Their species were never intended to mix. Castiel understood this. How could two grossly differing beings coincide peacefully? Put plainly, they couldn't.

This way of thinking changes suddenly, the day he met the Winchesters. His mission? To rescue Dean Winchester from Hell. He did, and that was to be the end of it, mission completed. However, the moment he laid eyes upon the brothers, Dean-- broken and bloodied and surrounded by fire, and Sam-- extending a hand of welcome, he saw that his own brothers and sisters had been wrong. The angelic host was not as superior as he had once believed.

When he looked at their souls he saw _good_ he saw  _life._ The more he watched, the more qualities he came to appreciate. 

Where humans felt, angels did not

Where humans loved, angels could not.

Where humans sacrificed themselves for one another, angels would not.

Where humans saw in explosions of reds and blues and yellows, angels angels were left seeing breaks of grays and blacks.

It was true, angels could not see in color. It was deemed a luxury, and otherwise unnecessary. The fact that humans possesed this ability was just another example in Castiel's mind how superior mortals were to the angelic race.

It was something in their humanity, that allowed them to see in color. And he envied them.

 

 

Castiel made a mistake. He got attached. The more time he spent with the Winchesters, the less he spent with his own kind. His envy of the brothers grew. Their ability to see things, to feel things-- even the bad. The banter back and forth, the bickering, the laughing, the suffering together. What it was like to experience in such a powerful way, he couldn't imagine.

Sam and Dean Winchester taught him everything. Sam, the basics of life. What this was, what that was. And Dean, how to live it. How to laugh, how to feel. Castiel was aware that Heaven would not approve or take kindly to his actions, but he was already spiraling down this slippery slope and feared he would not be able to stop even if he wanted to.

The day he notices Dean Winchester's eyes are green is the day he loses his first feather.

_Green._

He didn't even notice the feather detach itself from his wings and flutter to the ground at his feet.

They were beautiful. Hypontizing. Dangerous.

From that moment on he became greedy for more. He became foolish, searching everywhere, waiting for more colors to appear. It was months before the next one became visible.

It was red. That crimson color that stained his hands as he struck down on Dean again and again, being controlled by Naomi. In the end it was the depth in those green eyes as Dean called him family that severed her control.

This time, Castiel notices the handful of feathers that loosen and drift away.

 

 

Sooner or later Castiel should have known that Heaven would catch on to the change occurring within him.

He was becoming human.

Yet when Heaven finally dragged him away he could already see the golden yellow of the sun that glintes off the shiny chrome of the black Impala's good. The pink flush that crept up Dean's cheeks when he called him "Cas". The blue of the sky that stretched for eternity. The purple of a sunset, the bright white glitter of stars, the brown smattering of freckles across Dean's nose. By the time they seize him, it's too late. Castiel could see the world through human eyes. By the time his brothers and sisters came to save him from himself, his wings were in tatters and the few remaining feathers were dirty and bent.

 

 

When Castiel was permitted back to earth so many months later with his wings again intact and his mind scoured clean, his world was once again void of any color.

Castiel was certain that Heaven blamed the Winchesters for his destruction. But he didn't. He knew they had a role they played, but in the end it was ultimately himself that took the final step. 

His mind and heart were both heavy. I'm Heaven he had been reprimanded and shown the error if his ways-- he should never had desired to see I'm ways he was not destined to. It corrupts him, a distraction from his purpose.

And so because of this, Castiel gives no inclination to any of those angels assigned to watch him that when he looks at Dean Winchester, his eyes are still green, and a feather is still missing.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback appreciated! Lemme know what you think!


End file.
